Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I'm no saint

Someone left an anonymous comment on my post "Processing". I left a generic reply but I feel that I need to comment further.

Here's the comment:

As I read your blog on your trip, I can't even imagine all the emotions that you are feeling. All the thoughts you are trying to process. Not sure I feel worthy of your friendship as I am certainly in no way far along in my walk with God that you are. May NEVER be! Reading that you just take "time with God", "time to read the Bible", just "time" in itself. Sometimes I feel I am on the right track but I always get detoured by something/someone. What a wonderful and Godly person you are. You do have so much to give to others thru God and that makes you an awesome man! Jealous sometimes I feel of people like you. Shouldn't feel that way. I do feel blessed with what I have and my healthy kids. Something is missing though.....

my reply:

God loves us right where we are. And once we realize that and surrender ourselves to Him, He does the rest.

further comment:

But here's the thing, I'm no saint. I don't read my Bible everyday, I get distracted very easily, I disappoint people, myself and God. I spend way too much time obsessing about trivial things. I make bad decisions. I procrastinate, I tend to let things slide, I don't plan for the future. I make mistakes just like anyone else. So knowing these things about myself I have to make a conscious effort to do the things that I should do. I pray every morning. I ask for guidance, strength, courage, hope, love, understanding, and wisdom. I pray every night before bed, I thank the Lord for a good day (even though it may not have been). I read Christian "self help" books (check out the recommend reading). I do read the Bible but not as often as I should. I go to church every week, and I volunteer there on a regular basis. Even though it appears I have it all together, there are times I'm totally screwed up. Those are the times that I really need to spend time with God, read my Bible and just spend time alone.

I wanted to share these thoughts a little more in depth because I think it's important to understand that it takes a lot of work and effort to surrender and walk with God. I am willing to put forth the effort.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Luke 11:9-10 (NIV)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I find myself doing so many of the things you mentioned. I do feel good going to church, volunteering at church, spending time with my fellow church friends. But I get distracted and lose my way. I also pray when I'm in the shower, on the way to work, just sitting sometimes. The thing I don't make time for is reading the Bible. I know so little of it. I feel torn between continuing my walk and standing still. Still that missing feeling.......